lately

i’ve been too un-detached lately, on jyte; some have suggested i be more detached, i agree

irl, i have been p detached, it’s working out for me fine

shit is boring, what can i say

i made a thread called “THIS IS MY DICK !” on /b/ and had ~120 replies something to ~kinda~ be proud aboot

i’m going to get my driver’s license soon, driving test at 8:30 a.m.

i prob will get a job at wal-mart; i passed the hiring test, and they should give me a call this weekend

had to lay off the weed, though, and i did

according to erowid (well, a link from erowid), it should flush out in ~2 days, and by this weekend, it will be >2 days since i smoked cheeba, i did so on monday to great effect

helen visited, it’s been fun

the first day she was here, i smoked weed just before bed, and she must have smelled it, but she didn’t say anything

cathy did, she said “must be a fire” or something like that, i wanted to tell her to fuck the fuck off but i just said it was a candle, which in retrospect and at the time was really a bald-faced lie and probably everybody around knew it

i didn’t really get high at all

the next day i basically slept in all day

the third day, i walked with her and the dog in the morning and slept most of the rest of the day

the fourth day, i woke up and ran with her in the morning ~3 miles in 30 minutes !!!!

yikes…

and went with her to the amtrak station to say goodbye

this week, the first full week of january 2009, lso has a concert

i can’t complain, the pay is great, i got to put the bread and butter on my plate

but still, i don’t like the fact there’s a concert this month. oh well, whatever sells, sells

first rehearsal was monday. i smoked weed during break. and boy, did i ever enjoy the second part of the rehearsal.

i went out on the balcony exit door’s wire stairway. i took off one shoe to hold the door open, so i had on one shoe and one sock. then i took my stuff out of my pocket, lit up, and puffed. i saw into an adjacent building’s window and faraway cars. it was perilous moving the stuff out of my pockets, getting it all in place, holding the pipe, and trying not to fall off the staircase. but i made it. then i went back in. a guy, probably the second violin first chair, looked at me. he probably smelled my weed, but hopefully he didn’t know what it was. at any rate, he didn’t cause any ruckus.

i wasn’t feeling high, but i was feeling a little different. then i took a little chunk and ate it.

finally, at about 10:15 i began noticing the effects. i  i could feel my muscles, i was more aware of my body, i was more aware of the music. i believe i was nodding my head the whole freakin’ time. i looked up at the clock, and when it seemed like a while had passed, maybe 30 minutes to an hour, only ten minutes had passed. but it didn’t feel arduous at all, it felt very enjoyable. i was nodding my head continuously in time for the rest of the rehearsal. it was a pleasure.

wednesday was not nearly as enjoyable. i was tired the whole time and had a stomachache and headache. heartburn, possibly.

thursday, i got my normal on. completely normal. nothing out of the ordinary.

today is friday. one more rehearsal. yippee-dee-doo-dah. which i dread already. in a nietzschean fashion, this will be the same thing that i have done 3 times before.

saturday/sunday wal-mart better be calling. i need to get my flunky ass a job. which, let me see, will be $6.55 (minimum wage) i assume. yee haw. get my ass off the streets and all that other good stuff. man i love capitalism, don’t you? the funny part though, is, if i stopped whining about capitalism, i wouldn’t need to be whining about capitalism. then again not everybody is me, not to be arrogant.

i hate the fact that if i make money, it will eventually be taken away. somehow, someway the irs will find a way to take my wealth. i’m just a red queen in this race, a hamster on a wheel. if i ever make a million, gradually it will be chipped away at, violating the laws of compound interest. however, if you want to give me a million, i’ll take it. i’ll even take it under certain conditions you make. if i agree.

k. 2 more hours (6:30 a.m. here, contrary to what the timestamp says)  until i go out and get my $#@!ing driver’s license. i drove 600 miles this summer, yet i can’t pass a test. yay me. booked a reservation on IN DMV .com to upgrade/renew license yesterday, however apparently that has nothing to do with the driving test. anyway, a nice lady at the counter (very nice) booked something today in 2 hours. i better make it.